When men think they are playing games
Easy prey
As many women know, men are easy and can
be led by their penises in most instances. Men just want to get their
rocks off without any emotional baggage. For example, a man took his
wife to the hospital. After the consultation, the doctor said, ‘Sir, you
will not be able to have sex with your wife for about two weeks while
everything heals’. He looked at the doctor incredulously, laughed in
derision and said, ‘No problem, I have three wives!’ In effect, it is
her loss if her ‘you know what’ is out of commission. Nothing to do with
him! With free sex on tap, most men will say, ‘Yes, I love you’, to the
devil herself!
So, let us have some fun with men.
First, a joke
A guy and his wife are sitting and
watching a boxing match on television. I think it was one of those quick
Mike Tyson fights. The husband sighs and complains, ‘This is
disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!’ ‘Good,’ replied his wife.
‘Now you know how I feel.’ Wham, bang, thank you, Madam!
A conference for love
Heard about the man who told his wife he
was off for a three-day church conference. ‘Okay’, said the wife but
first, let us pray. She said, ‘Lord, grant my husband great journey.’
‘Amen’, he shouted. ‘Weaken his manhood, if he tries to commit
adultery’. The husband was silent. ‘Kill him if he commits….’ At this
point, the husband shouted, ‘Shut up, shut up.’ ‘I am no longer going on
the trip’. ‘The Holy Spirit has just told me the conference has been
cancelled’.
The devil in mobiles
A friend related the story of a woman
who called her husband while he was having another woman in a hotel
room. He told her quietly that he was in a meeting and hurriedly dropped
the phone. Unfortunately, his wife then heard sounds of lovemaking
through the phone. Naturally, she was livid when he got home and took
him to task on it. An epic fight ensued. Would you like to know how he
got out of the mess? He blamed the devil and admonished her for trying
to allow the devil to come between them. Apparently, perhaps another
line may have bumped onto his phone line. A network problem! I get that
with MTN sometimes. Or maybe it’s just pure mischief and her vivid
imagination. In fact, his colleague at work did confirm that he was in a
‘meeting’ until early morning.
Another joke
A husband exclaims to his wife one day,
‘Your butt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the barbeque grill!’
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his
wife who completely brushes him off. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asks. She
answers, ‘Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill
for one little sausage?’
The final joke
A teacher is teaching a class and she
sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, ‘If there are
three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?’
Johnny says, ‘None.’ The teacher asks, ‘Why?’ Johnny says, ‘Because the
shot scared them all off.’ The teacher says, ‘No, two, but I like how
you’re thinking.’ Johnny asks the teacher, ‘If you see three women
walking out of an ice cream parlour, one is licking her ice cream, one
is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is
married?’ The teacher says, ‘The one sucking her ice cream.’ Johnny
says, ‘No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re
thinking!’ You would not want the one biting your ice cream now, would
you?
A new wife
I sometimes wonder how women feel in
situations where cultural attitudes or religion shortchanges them.
Mallam was in Saudi Arabia recently asking Allah to provide a second
wife for him. Sadly, he had forgotten that his wife was right beside
him. A pity she could not smack him over the head in the mosque! Often
you cannot blame the men, but other women, who have no allegiance to
womanhood. That is not the point of this article.
The point of this
The fact is that men are involved in
relationship struggles and battles daily. We are at the mercy of women.
The foolish man thinks he is smart to have caught a woman. Whereas the
smart man realises that he is the one that was hooked and caught in a
cage! In this relationship, you are allowed to perform and pleasure the
woman occasionally. If she is happy, you even get to buy her a present.
If she is not satisfied, you get hypertension. Having many wives is no
fun at all. You think you are playing games when you are actually the
main sport. Now, what do you say about men who have many wives? I once
saw one of them at 50 years of age complaining of a bad back.
Really, just a bad back! No hypertension!
NB: This
is just light relief to make you laugh and reduce your blood pressure.
But, please do not stop taking your medication even if you have one
wife.
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